Test Run (w/ Paddy)

[Paddy]

The sapphire's serious expression was interrupted by the flush pink that bloomed over her cheeks as 7XB rose up, and brought her with them. She nestled back onto them, and attempted to allow the peaceful moment to sink in. There were more things to be worried about, as always, but for now she appreciated how safe and snug she felt with the quartz. The quiet that had settled as they continued moving gave her an increasing sense of self consciousness, but it was more bearable knowing that 7XB was there with her. The breeze gently pushed through the disheveled puff of her soft, fluttering hair; she took a moment to get stray pieces tucked back into order, to give direction to her worrying hands. She kept her eyes sweeping over the water and the town, looking for signs of other gems, but also just to see it; when she'd first come to Earth, it had been so beautiful to her, and only now she had remembered that. Above other things, however, she didn't want the quartz to feel like they were under pressure.

While they quietly made their way over the beach and through town, the sense of self consciousness grew into a more unmanageable worry. By now her outfit had been baked dry by the heat, and the pleasant beach atmosphere juxtaposed against the somber look 7XB wore. She couldn't know what was going through their head if they didn't say it, but she wondered if she could make a few guesses. No longer able to take the mounting weight of silence, Padparadscha's lips fell open and she glanced up to their eyes. 

"I-it's okay," She uttered hastily,"If you're just...not ready to talk about that," Her eyes flicked away. Internally she wanted to sit them down and put the spotlight on them, tell them to spill every detail of what was going on in there. Though, these weren't her earliest days; she knew better than to think any gem would appreciate that, let alone the one who she thought of so dearly. The sapphire understood reserve, there were some things she would be hard pressed to tell any gem. She shifted to look more directly at them,"But like I said before, I'll listen. It's the least I could do. You're an incredible gem, 7XB-- I'm just glad you're with me," If that was all they could manage right now, then she would be patient. During a short pause, her hand shifted, and traced along their arm. She spoke more quietly,"I miss you a lot when we're not together, when we can't talk. I'll be happy to talk with you about anything," 

[7XB]

Her gentle, uncertain words were like a well-timed drop of oil upon the surface of the water, breaking the tension all at once like a breath of fresh air; This was much to the quartz gem’s relief, the salty-sweet ocean breeze that danced across the top of the hill rustling their hair like autumn leaves as their steely gaze met her own. “No, it's..it's not that.” They insisted lightly, bringing themselves, quite suddenly, mind you, to the ground, a sudden rush of air and a soft 'thud’ as they impacted with the delicate carpet of turf beneath. “It's just.. just..”

Just what? Where could they possibly begin to explain? The beginning seemed the only suitable place, of course, but much of that was shrouded even from the Quartz themselves, a product of the long years taking their toll, perhaps. Still, her candid words were a relief to the Quartz, reminding 7XB of the strange, pleasantly warm feelings between the two of them, much of that heat manifesting upon their cheeks. They smiled lightly, "I'm..happy you're here, Padparadscha. With me.

“It's..well, it's the oldest thing I can remember, really. But I know there was much before, and after.” All the years began to blur together after awhile, compressed more and more until they were all but lost in the pile. This, though..well, the Quartz had never been able to forget it, and it was now sharper than it had ever been.

“It was an ancient colony,” they began suddenly, jaw set and visibly tense, “old and mined out. Kindergartens went down for miles. Every sector in every quadrant, right down to the planet’s core. We all knew it was only a matter of time before it gave out, but..”
They hesitated.

“It..happened pretty fast.”

[Paddy]

"Wuh," Dropping suddenly through the air unfurled some of her neatly tucked hair, her eyes widened slightly as her grip tightened, but she quickly relaxed once they hit the ground. She'd made an incorrect guess, but that only stoked the burning curiosity that had grown hotter with every moment she spent wondering about this happenstance. They went on, and she canted forward, her attention on them as they spoke-- at their blushing return of her sentiment, a genuine, beaming smile grew over her lips. 

However, she knew the story that would proceed wasn't going to be cheerful. As their tale began, her expression fell into a more serious, attentive one. It was strange to hear them talk about themselves like this, they had always deflected her from their past, but that made their next words all the more riveting. The image quickly came together for her; a derelict planet no longer useful to the empire, and an incredibly inopportune moment for any gems that had been near it. Though, she didn't have enough information yet to decide just how inopportune it had been for the quartz themselves. Two sides of her were at odds; on one, her core had already been seized by fear for them, and the other side had already drafted enough questions for a seminar. 

Things could be surmised from what they had said, and what had happened earlier. Their tension was obvious for the sapphire to see, so she moved her hands to grab their's. She didn't know if it was any consolation to her veteran comrade, but with a multitude of worries waltzing around in the background of her consciousness, she hoped it would at least do something to keep them in the moment with her. "You...you were there when it happened?" She uttered, her eyes focused onto them, the typhoon of other questions held back by force of will. 

[7XB]

It was much harder than even the seasoned soldier would have imagined to talk about what had happened, especially with the memory or what has just occurred so fresh in their mind; The quartz found the small comfort of her hand on their own a very necessary one, working in conjunction with the gentle breeze to keep them grounded in the here and now and out of the fearful construct in their head. The quartz was still quite tense, almost frozen as until they gave the inclination of their head, shaking off the frost. “Not at first, but..”

The quartz paused again, continuing on after another moment's pause.

“A lot of gems were still on-world on retrieval when the first tremors started. There was a..well, there must have been a mistake somewhere, a..a.. miscalculation.” They weren't one to question their superiors, but for the purposes of this story, they couldn't help but wonder. “Things got bad quickly. A lot of assets..” they paused again, “a lot of gems were trapped, and we didn't have much time to react. My unit was in the sector, fortunately.”

Fortunately? That was the first time that they'd ever said that.

"We we're dispatched immediately to rescue as many as we could."

[Paddy]

The sapphire's large, keen eyes were focused onto 7XB as they spoke, listening intently to their words and body language. The tension building throughout their form translated through her grip on them, and the knot that had gathered in her before began to tighten back up. She wasn't exactly sure what had happened back on the beach, but it'd been apparent to her that the soldier had been somewhere else; the further they spoke, the more she realized that this crumbling world they told of must have been where they went. 

At the suggestion that there had been a miscalculation, her brows furrowed slightly, for the fact that they didn't already have the answers behind the implied question. The sapphire herself rarely went into a mission without knowing all of the facts; when she did, there was often some kind of deception involved. To think that deception had been involved in the situation 7XB was describing goaded the knot in her chest, and set an uneasy churning into motion. Of course she knew that gems in different castes weren't all subject to the same treatment she had, but it was striking to imagine that such a baffling error had been made-- and that it had been up to her quartz companion and their unit to correct it. 

On top of that, their effort to put emphasis on the fact that these were gems who had been trapped on the collapsing planet brought additional troubling implications to light. However, these concerns were all peripheral to her true focus in the now, which was learning of an event that had impacted 7XB to a grievous extent. 

More pieces of the puzzle were falling into place, but the picture was still fogged over by what had yet to be said. The sapphire had scooted to the edge of her seat in their lap, her expression remained grave. The questions whirling around in her mind, especially with her internal deductions now stewing, were almost distressing to keep under wraps. Though, not wanting to bombard them before they were even part way through their story, and knowing many of her questions may receive answers, Padparadscha kept her focus squarely on 7XB.

[7XB]

The quartz was hesitating a great deal, almost as if they wished, wanted, something to interrupt their ancient account. They swallowed dryly, allowing their eyes to drift downwards, drawn towards the gem they held so closely, whose mere presence- especially in a situation like this- was incredibly soothing to 7XB, the hard-cut grim expression softening ever so slightly.

They just had to get it out. Surely they had done much harder things in their life than talking! They were a soldier, a seasoned soldier, why was this so hard for them?

“It was supposed to be simple, you know?” It was almost more of a lamentation than a true question, their lips downturned. “It was easy enough to recover the gems in the upper quadrants, closer to the surface..but a lot of technicians were much farther down than we thought.” The planet had all but swallowed them up, the surface rolling like a great, black sea of rubble and molten earth. As many as they had managed to recover that day, there were many more gems who met their end alongside that crumbling world.

“We went down after them, all of us.”

[Paddy]

The silence allowed more room for her thoughts to continue weaving. However, the look on 7XB's face gave her a sinking, and the mournful tone they took on as they began again struck a fissure straight through her heart. Her brows twisted upward at the inner corner, lips tugged downward as she listened. She had a feeling that no amount of bracing would prepare her for knowing what the quartz had been through, but tried anyway, still clutching their hand. 

As she processed what they had said up to that point, and compared it to the things she'd picked up on earlier, an electric shock snapped through her, rendering her motionless for a beat. 

"7XB," She managed to push their name from her lips, but fell short of words for the rest of her thoughts, so tangled together she couldn't yet put them in order. "I-- I think I'm starting to understand," There was a lot left unknown, but she could see that something terrible had happened down there. From what she knew about the quartz, Padparadscha was able to draw together the pieces and come to a deduction. Every weight that had coiled around her before came rushing back, and slammed over her with enough force to knock a gem over, but she endured it with a solid, focused expression. "I want to hear what you need to say, I want to know what you need," They had already relived it enough, she realized; the shock she felt continued into an anxious buzz. Her eyes flicked across their angular visage as she thought about what she wanted to say. Details, as useful as they were during investigation, could be harmful in certain situations,"--but I'd like to make sure you know that you're under no obligation to tell me everything," After all, this wasn't an investigation, as much as she felt like she needed to do some research on the matter.

Recalling the way she'd last seen them before today, and what they had said through tense words, she worried that 7XB might themselves not realize what it was that they needed now, and how she could help. Talking it through might help them see what it was, but she didn't want to reawaken anything too excruciating for the quartz, not any more than had already been done. Along with the shock of knowing what she'd heard so far, the whirl of uncertainties that gathered underneath, the knot in her chest tied on a heavy thread of guilt. 

[7XB]

“I..thank you.” They managed lightly, a great gravity behind their simple expression of gratitude, even the muscles that held their frown so firmly in place softening somewhat. It was an odd feeling, the one she caused within them, a drop of cool serenity to ease the chaos in their tumultuous mind. They still didn't quite know what to make of this connection between themselves and Padparadscha, but in moments like this they could not help but appreciate the balance she brought them. What they were digging up wasn't easy to talk about by any stretch of the imagination, but as difficult as it was, they could not help but feel as though it would have been astronomically harder to divulge this to any other gem.

“I've never talked about this with anyone, outside of my debriefing.” Even then it hadn't been much of a discussion, more the Quartz, as the sole survivor of their team, relaying what little important information they could to a senior officer for the records. Short and sweet, which was something 7XB could normally appreciate, but the whole thing proved impossible to forget.

[Paddy]

It was a relief to see their expression loosen, and to hear their appreciation. Their burden seemed too impossible lift, but perhaps she could help to carry some of it. A guilt continued to pull her shoulders down, at her lack of ability to do more for the time being. The sapphire's job had led her to uncover many secrets, but it was all a shock to hear, more so than the last secret they had shared with her.

Their admission that they had never shared this with anyone struck down like a wedge into the fissure that had torn through her heart. Her lashes fluttered as she tried to blink away pesky mist, to keep 7XB in focus. The gem she'd shared so many tender moments with was hurt in a way that she wasn't sure how to cope with; she never wanted to believe that they were haunted by a wraith whose grasp spanned centuries, if not millennia, to seize them-- that they had endured it alone for so long. Now that she knew they were, every emotion hounded her to do something. How excited she'd been, back on their first mission together, to hear that 7XB had traversed galaxies, serving the empire and the greater good. She imagined tales of heroism, but hadn't realized the full depth of their sacrifice.

It was impossible to keep her eyes from misting over, so she just closed them, and let herself ease against the quartz's chest. "Well, I'm here for you 7XB," Padparadscha murmured,"I'll hear anything you have to say, whenever you have to say it." They deserved so much more, but she still felt lost. There was one question that weighed the heaviest on her mind out of the pile of others, and the sapphire wasn't quite sure if it should be asked, or how to go about it. "B-but I need to ask...after you...went somewhere. I think I understand where, and why-- but I don't know what I should've done-- how to help--" As she spoke it became harder to keep her voice from wavering, remembering the terror she'd felt seeing them in such a state. She knew enough to make connections, but did she know enough to really help them? Was it even possible?

[7XB]

How long had it really been since that horrific incident? It did not seem enough to simply say that it was a very long time ago, but 7XB just couldn't seem to remember, willingly or not. It had to have been a..thousand years? At the very least, anyway. Quite often, had they thought to think of it at all, the Quartz found themselves thankful that they remembered few enough of those long years, yet now they found it more troubling than anything else. Clearly their lack of memory had done next to nothing to soothe the trauma: Why else would they have reacted in such a, frankly, humiliating way? They remembered only bits and pieces of memories, though there were moments of clarity in the static, faces and events that stood out starkly. 7XB, in the rare moments that they took to reflect upon their expansive career, found themselves wishing to remember the good times that must have come to pass instead, and worry about what else might have been, or will be, forgotten.

There were many tales of adventure and heroism they could recount, yes, and many more they could no longer remember, but the grim always seemed to outweigh the good.

Her mention of what had just happened, the state they had been in for those long, agonizing minutes, that was not what bothered 7XB the most. No, what bothered them was the expression the delicate gem wore as she tried to describe it, her fragile composure wavering and threatening to crumble beneath the weight of what they recognized immediately as guilt. “It's not your fault, Padparadscha.” They insisted. She blamed herself for their disassociative, quivering state, but 7XB felt guilty for making her feel that way, for being triggered at all, yet even then they knew it wasn't their fault either. “It wasn't anything you did and..I don't know if there is anything to be done about it.” This had never happened before, but one was certainly bad enough. “The darkness, the..the..” they paused, breathing out hesitantly, “the Earth crushing around me just..took me there.”

“But,” they were quick to reassure, “I definitely think that.. that you, well, being there helped somehow. I saw you there and then, uhm,” how could they describe it? “It all started to melt slowly.”

[Paddy]

As she listened to their words with her head rested against them, she continued to soak up the closeness this rare moment had allowed. Their insistence came from a well intentioned place, but hearing them say that there wasn't anything to be done, and speak of what had sent them back to relive that terrible event, gave her a nervous churning. The words, and the way the quartz gave them, sent a pang through her.

She couldn't imagine being crushed, it was frightening to think of. But it struck her that darkness was a shared enemy between them; gems whose power allowed them to bring light out of thin air could still be terrified of what laid outside their reach. Thinking back on the darkness they had endured together quite some time ago, as horrifying as it had been, she wondered if it could compare to the darkness that lurked in the distant past. After all, back in the jungle night, there had been an entirely unexpected beacon that itself seemed to bloom from the dark. Even with her eyes closed, the warmth radiating from 7XB reminded her of the light they brought her then and now. Safety, reassurance, and a level of vulnerable acceptance that seemed to run subterranean to the rational mind.

At their further admission, her eyes fluttered open, and brows floated up. She pulled away from their chest to point her mystified expression at them. Though her eyes were still rimmed with moisture, their words had baffled her enough that her lips hung as agape as her eyes without her realizing it,"Wha?" She uttered, before seeming to catch herself,"I-I mean, really? But--" The detective stewed again on the words they'd said to her on the beach, why it had been so confusing. They had gone, but they had taken her with them.

A new flood of questions barrelled down her waterfall of thought, questions that would have to bring her investigation of love and connection off of hiatus,"I don't know if it was something I did 7XB, I-I couldn't even keep myself put together," She gave a huff; so many times the quartz had to be strong for both of them. All of the embarrassingly honest things she'd said to them were true, the fear of losing this gem had an extreme affect on her psyche that she couldn't yet explain,"I don't know how...or why...but, if being there helped you, then by the Diamonds, I'm going to be there no matter what," The sapphire took on a hardened, serious expression. She wasn't sure if she could say she was relieved, or even more confused and afraid. 

[7XB]

The quartz knew that they would never be able to explain it any better than that, as inarticulate as that explanation was, but they nodded in confirmation, the constant murmer of wind causing their hair to flutter out of place- again. “I..don't know how to put it besides that.” the Quartz said, voice almost a sigh as they lift their shoulders and dropped them in a heavy shrug. “You were there, down there with me. At first I didn't understand, it just didn't mesh. But then it..just..ugh.” Their expressed twisted into one of the upmost frustration. Never in all their years had the Quartz gem ever felt so mush-mouthed as they did whenever discussing, in even the most innocent capacity, the effect that Padparadscha had upon them. As reluctant as they were to admit it, 7XB had almost no doubt in their mind that whatever Padparadscha’s presence had done to pull them from the dark past had something to do with this..'love’, assuming that was actually the proper name for the irreverent connect between the aristocrat and themselves.

“It just..you being there..pulled me back.”

Perhaps they would have to explain that better another time, but they could only put off their tale for so much longer. “Anyway, uhm. We went down, through the planet's crust. Many of the deeper sectors of the kindergarten had collapsed completely, and there wasn't much we could do. There was a few isolated pockets, a few gems we could help..” but not many.

"It started hot much quicker than we had anticipated. The tectonic plates were rolling like water. Smashing, melting.." This was much earlier in their career, obviously.

[Paddy]

She listened with furrowed brows as they continued to explain her appearance within their dreamlike excursion; everything about this connection had been strange, but the more she learned about it, the deeper it seemed to run. Their first-hand testimonial would be crucial in figuring out more in this investigation, she still didn't have enough information to make any clear determinations, but for now she would allow the detective work to stay out of this moment she had with 7XB. The sapphire supposed they would let her know when they were ready to take it up again, and at any rate, she only had so much time to learn about this experience which had affected them so much. 3JJ would figure out where they had gone sooner or later, provided she had been successful in her endeavor.

As they continued with the story, the sapphire found herself drawn in again, swept along with their words into the world that they described for her. The sapphire's eyes widened as she imagined a whole team of clear quartz delving into the collapsing world to save gems otherwise doomed. But that left her asking-- what about the team themselves? Her midriff churned and twisted around into a tight knot. When they described the rippling of the planet's crust, Padparadscha's eyes darted out over Earth's landscape, and across the calm ocean water as she attempted to imagine molten rock roiling and bobbing like a stormy sea, straining to keep itself from folding into it's own core. 

The sapphire was paler, despite her inability to even imagine it. She swallowed, and her eyes snapped back onto the quartz, searching 7XB's expression as they continued to tell the tale. So far, she didn't like where it was going; all the pieces of the puzzle were building around a nexus at its center, the boiling point that had burned itself into her favored comrade's memory. "...terrifying," She muttered, but then pressed her lips to continue hearing their words. 

[7XB]

“..Yes.” 7XB had agreed with the faintest murmer, though it felt oddly like an understatement, “it was.” And that wasn't even the true horror of it, though they were fast approaching. Even the situation they were currently explaining seemed somehow diminished through their explanation, any word that they could think to use unable to truly convey the weight this tragedy had laid upon their heart all those years ago; They found themselves growing increasingly upset with their own inability, a sigh of heated frustration passing their lips. “But it's difficult for me to really explain this correctly, you know? I just..the words don't adequately describe what I'm remembering.” 7XB felt rather like a child, though they would never be able to make such a comparison, who was unable to draw the picture they had chiselled itself so finely in their mind.

But they had to keep going, if they stopped now they'd clam up completely, and they knew it was only going to get harder from here.

“Our squad leader, they..I could tell they wanted to head back more than any of us, but she wasn't going to turn tail and run.” She had led with honor, quite literally leading them into the dangerous situations head first. First in, last out.

[Paddy]

The distant whisper they gave in response to her, the solemn look on their face, put her on edge. If they slipped back into the past, would she be able to help them come back again, especially considering that neither of them knew what exactly had happened? As they continued, her nerves buzzed as if she would have to leap into action at any moment, but she managed to keep herself more outwardly calm as she listened. 

She nodded to show her understanding, allowing them to say what they could, though their frustration was becoming more tangible as they spoke. For now, she hoped her assurance that they wouldn't have to say anything they didn't want to, but could nonetheless say anything they felt they needed to discuss would help; along with whatever mysterious affect she'd managed to have on their aliment. Coming to terms with everything they'd said would have to be later, for now as 7XB continued with the momentum of their words, she tried to imagine how they must've felt when they were there.

As mention of their squad leader came, Padparadscha's head tilted a her brows floated up. Part of her was given a bit of a shock; from the beginning, 7XB had been a powerful presence, with leadership skills that shined both in and off of the field. It was strange to think of them being anything but a leader themselves. Tantalizing as it was to get a better picture of who they once were long ago, the context of this story prevented her from feeling too excited about getting to know them and their unit, as the implications were grim. The sapphire had to wonder who their squad leader had been, but with the things she knew about 7XB in mind, the fears she had accumulated over the course of the day were drawing into the increasingly dense knot.